i find myself in the cycle again,
at a high point but wondering when,
it all crashes, ruins, begin again.
how can i enjoy what is fleeting,
when what is coming will be devasatating
why risk trying,
scrutinized by eyes prying,
just keep lying.
caught in a local minimum,
feeling stretched thin again,
dopamine to the maximum,
stuck in my head again
mind reduced to sparks and juice,
reactive never proactive.
im a lookup table,
regurgitating reactionary factoids,
wisdom trapped inside,
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